Glad Tidings for Us

As I watched Morgan sing loudly and off key in his Cajun Christmas performance, my heart swelled to the point of bursting. He's come so far. We've come so far.

I didn't need to sit by a door in case he freaked out. I wasn't disappointed in the teachers giving him the most minor role possible, for not challenging him, or for unwittingly setting him up for embarrassment. He wasn't the last kid up to the mike with a bit part...

He was Papa Noel and a great one. He counted so much in that performance. I could see his happy face from my seat in the front row, beaming like a beacon. His friends were looking to him when his cues/prompts came up. Not in judgement, but in gentle reminders and, when he got it right, they grinned.

I fought back tears and waves of anxiety as I walked back to his class for pictures of him. Had this been too much? Was this more my manifestation of fear than him being nervous?

The short answer? Yes. My anxiety. Though, granted, Morgan was nervous before performing. However, he was cutting up with his friend before the show. He was excited about the show. He'd been asking me about Papa Noel for days and breaking into the scripts for Boudreaux the magic crawfish. As a bonus, Ted, his kraken, was allowed to watch the show from the audience.

When I say that he's come a long way with holidays, I mean it. This year, Morgan needed almost zero prompting for Santa. Bay, actually, needed more. Morgan was a center of focus during his third grade performance and not just some afterthought. Both of us held it together on the nerves front- him better than me. He knows exactly how many "sleeps" until Christmas Eve, where two years ago he really didn't know or seem to care. He's watched holiday movies on a loop since Thanksgiving. And not just the same one. This is all progress, but not the "big" progress.

There are the crafty things... the coloring, the things involving concentration and fine motor skills. Things that, to be honest, I'd nearly given up on, I'm ashamed to say. Morgan gifted me with two gorgeous pieces of art today (last day of school), in a addition to his letter to Santa, which he dictated to his para, who wrote it down, so that he could copy it (see it here). I cried so hard. 

Morgan's art, to me, is worth framing and placing in a museum. I've waited a very long time for something like this from my son. It's fitting that all of this has come during Christmastime.

My favorite. 

This Christmas, I think my gifts came early from a very special little boy. It's like he knew what I secretly wanted, deep down in my heart and was afraid to ever ask or hope for. Some of these things are probably silly, but when you wait for something, or want to share an experience so badly... and then it happens, it's like a gift descending from a far off land. You don't know if it will happen again. You really don't care. You just cherish the moment and, if you're me, cry happy tears. 

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